November 6, 2009



      The loss of life at Ft. Hood has already provided us with many answers to difficult and known challenges. Unfortunately, it appears the choice to ignore available information is forcing heads further up the backsides of those that already chose the bliss of ignorance. One headline report describes the shootings as an isolated incident. Perhaps the officials in question should have read the morning newspapers, or better, the numerous pleas by shooter, Maj. Nidal Hasan. The question mark above is not because the information is sparse...it is for all of those that turned their backs on what appears to be a plethora of information that may have prevented this unnecessary loss of life.

     Before I am misunderstood, please allow me to be very clear. I believe it is absolutely necessary for us to support the decisions of our elected officials and those they chose to place in positions of authority. If we want to change the officials or the system, this is another process and while related, the question of whether or not to participate in this war or any war is a separate issue. As mentioned in my first writing on this subject, the appropriate place for our attention is with the injured and the families of those that lost their lives. In that effort, we must strive to understand what happened and how to prevent future occurrences. With that said, I want to review some of the news out today.

      MSNBC has reported military officials as saying the shootings are an, "Isolated and tragic incident."  Tragic yes. Islolated? That's not my understanding. The Seattle Times, (taking info from the Washington Post report), describes Ft. Hood as the Army installation, "with its personnel suffering the highest number of suicides...After more than eight years of lengthy war-zone rotations in Iraq and Afghanistan, Army personnel are experiencing record rates of suicide, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and other mental-health problems, as well as worsening alcohol and drug abuse. The psychological toll on the all-volunteer force today is unprecedented."  Army officials say, "they do not know how much the Army can sustain before it breaks."  Does this sound like an isollated case to you? 

     The Seattle Times story continues..."increasing number of soldiers undergoing the strain of repeated combat deployments are taking lives - often their own. This year, 117 active-duty Army soldiers were reported to have committed suicide, with 81 of those cases confirmed - up from 103 suicides in that period last year. Ten suicides have been reported at Fort Hood this year; more than 75 of its personnel have committed suicide since 2003." "An estimated 30 percent of those returning from combat suffer mental-health symptoms." "Those who treat the mental wounded, including doctors such as Hasan, are not immune from the symptoms." "Hasan was a psychiatry intern at Walter Reed Army Medical Center from June 2003 to July 2009, Army officials said. In that position, he likely treated soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder."  Ya think? The article concludes, "Violent outbursts such as shootings by soldiers at Army posts have occurred in recent years, including at Fort Hood, where several killings were reported over the past two years."  Please explain how anyone could call this isolated?

     In a separate story, The Seattle Times is clear with their headline, "Shooting suspect faced deployment, wanted out." "A Muslim who, despite asking to be discharged from the Army, according to his aunt, was on the eve of this first deployment to war." There was absolutely no doubt this practicing Muslim did not want any part of active combat. I do not know the circumstances that encouraged him to participate in the Army and support the war from home but, "Hasan recently had expressed deep concerns about being sent to Iraq or Afghanistan." "He was mortified by the idea of having to deploy," cousin Nader Hasan has said. It is common practice for those counseling others to undergo their own programs of counseling to assist in relieving the stress of their jobs. Is the Army remiss in this obligation? In recent months, my own applications to work with this very unit of the Army Civilian Corps., I have been refused approval because I have not yet obtained a Ph.D.. I'm now sitting here wondering how all of these highly trained individuals just happened to miss a protocal that any first-year Psychology student finds on the pages of the most basic texts. We really need to ask some serious questions about how our military protects those that offer their service. The casualties I reported at Wanat in Afghanistan were lives lost in combat. The reason is apparently the same...the men were put into a situation that unnecessarily resulted in loss of life. I am beginning to think it is time for all of us to take these questions to the streets in the same non-violent fashion voices were heard that brought an end to the Viet Nam conflict.

     Here's some questions to ask based on the Seattle Times story.  "Some casualties may have been victims of "friendly fire," shot by authorities amid the confusion." Why? With what has to be an identified risk of soldiers under stress and the availability of firearms, are there not daily drills that would prevent confusion in a situation like yesterdays? Yes, I know we cannot plan for everything but I would like to know the extent of the training of those responding? After all, the very building where the incident occurred is named, Soldier Readiness.  

     The shooter was a practicing Muslim. The shooter had expressed his desire to avoid deployment for what are apparently, obvious reasons. The shooter told his family of his difficulty in reconciling military service with his values. The FBI is now reporting knowledge of web sites, most probably authored by the shooter, discussing suicide bombing in a favorable light. "If one suicide bomber can kill 100 enemy soldiers because they were caught off guard that would be a considered a strategic victory." The shooter steered clear of female colleagues and, "despite devout practices, listed himself in the Army records as having no religious preference."  The shooter had recently received a poor performance evaluation at Walter Reed Hospital where he worked just prior to his transfer to Ft. Hood. Patients at Walter Reed are commonly admitted for having sustained chronic physical or emotional injuries in combat. Walter Reed has come under fire for challenges with environmental aspects that have affected quality treatment such as crumbling building conditions and insufficient staff. Sounds very likely that we have a situation of dumping a hurting soldier out of the frying pan and into the fire. By the way, the poor performance rating accompanied incidents where, "Hasan would not allow his photo to be taken with female co-workers, which became an issue during Christmas season when employees often took group photos. Co-workers would find a solo photo of Hasan and post it on the bulletin board without his permission.

     "He had been affected by the physical and mental injuries he saw as a psychiatrist at Walter Reed, his aunt said. "Some people can take that, and some can't," Noel Hasan said. "He must have snapped." "  Yes, I kind of think this layman has already concluded what any reasonable program of care would have determine long before anything happened. We had more than enough information and now all we have left are questions...or perhaps, those questions are the answers we need to make the changes necessary to see this does not happen again.  Aggressive, proactive care is the least we should do for those in service to our country. 

November 5, 2009

 
     

     The photo above is the Soldier Readiness Center at Fort Hood in Texas. About a month ago, my application for employment with the Army was approved for work at Ft. Hood and the most likely work space would be the center that assists soldiers immediately before or after deployment. For news story, click here.

     Several years ago, while working with the Men Are From Mars project, I was asked to speak at U.S. Army bases to soldiers returning from long deployments. This was a time when the amount of time stationed overseas started increasing without much in the way of advance notice or agreement from those affected. The number of volunteers for work in the Armed Forces had been declining and unanticipated events placed demand that could not be fulfilled with existing numbers without extending the length of deployment. In addition to the stress of being placed in mortal danger, soldiers were required to serve longer than when they had left their homes. While this is not unusual and, in fact, a known possibility, the additional months away from home places an enormous stress on the individuals and their families. In fact, I've noticed that several of the applications I have filled out call for work in the Family Readiness Program. The name itself tells you the Army understands husband, wife, children and others are all affected by the demands of military life.

     I suspect that many may feel by reading these few lines that, "of course the military affects the entire family!"  However, having programs and individuals in place to help those families is another matter. The help I was able to provide came in the form of short visits to centers just like the one above, where I would present some entertainment and information for returning soldiers and their families in an evening of talk from the stage about men, women and relationships. In a full-day seminar format, I would return the following day and spend additional time with the families going over everything from communication to gender differences to sex. The most helpful piece of my day was always the opportunity to revisit any traumatic events of the deployment. Interestingly, no matter what had happened in the war zone, the soldier's wartime experience also related to events prior to the military. I share this because, it seems, no matter what we do in life, there is always a thread of commonality that sews together our lifetime experiences. Ultimately, there is some theme, some set of core issues reflecting that theme, that allows us to make sense of what happens to us on a daily basis. Aware or not, we do not just sleepwalk through life. Every minute, every hour, every day shares in a distinctive continuum that, in the end, we call our lifetime.

     We do not yet know what happened at Ft. Hood as the news at present is limited to some very frightening details. As if it is not difficult enough that we are losing lives overseas, it is, indeed, tragic that something like this can happen at home. Still, this is the price of war. War is not stuck on a location for tragedy...once engaged, the horror can happen anywhere. I grew up with friends that suffered the effects of the Viet Nam war at home and abroad and the challenges have never subsided. That we are now engaged in yet another seemingly futile conflict, however is a frightening story of not learning from past mistakes. I am not writing to set a political agenda or to critique the choices of our military. I believe our thoughts must be focused on those that need us the most and right now those are the wounded and the families of those that lost life today. I'm not sure what it is going to take to get my name pushed through the bureaucracy of the military but I am hopeful that I have the opportunity to once again help.

     The universe has been sending powerful messages to me of late as I have been more open to receiving them than in any time in my life. The difference is that I have been actively listening with more discipline than ever before. In my case, the process was not exactly voluntary. Challenging circumstances have humbled me and sometimes it takes pain in our lives to slap us into mindfulness. Please take some time each day to quiet all the noise and listen for your messages. Look around here on the website and you will find some articles that I have written that will help you.  I promise to write more and thank you for being a part of my life and work.

   

October 21, 2009

October 16, 2009 

     Today I learned of a project that was based on asking 50 people the same question and then filming the subjects as they answered. I imagine the purpose was to catch the nuance of expression and the variety of response and combine all of this with music and everything else that goes into the art of cinematography. The question was, “if you could wake up anywhere, where would it be? My answer to the question came without hesitation as I started to view an unrelated video clip.

     As I watched the video news report of a baby boy run over by a train, I felt immediate connections to the filmmaker’s question. Certainly, given the mental prowess, the infant would have been happy to just wake up for another day. The mother, of course, would talk about waking up next to her healthy son. When I posted the story for my readers, I made sure the headline gave them notice the baby survived the incident. Even with knowledge of the outcome, the sense of helplessness is intense.

     The mother was wheeling the baby onto the waiting platform just outside the station building. Believing the stroller was secured well away from the tracks, the woman turns to adjust her clothes. With her back to child, the stroller rolls backwards for several feet and falls from the platform and down onto the tracks. As the mother turns, she sees the stroller moving away but is unable to reach it before tips from the platform. A high-speed train comes immediately into view and passes over the child. All of this happens within a few, short seconds. The video then shows the train, stopped at the station, and no clear view of the boy.

     Station workers prevented the train from moving once it was stopped and were able to rescue the child with nothing more than a few scratches. When the stroller simultaneously dropped to the tracks as the train sped into view, I recalled how I felt for a few minutes on October 18, 1989. I wondered if in some way the baby, or the mother, had the same experience as I. If they could wake up anywhere, where would it be?

     I was traveling by air from Minneapolis to Phoenix when our plane lost all power and was forced to make an emergency landing in Colorado. Without control of many of the plane’s vital functions, the flight continued for over 20 minutes as the pilot worked to determine the best course of action. In the darkened cabin that became warm and stuffy without air circulation, the plane bounced in turbulence over the Rockies without the use of one engine and limited navigation capability. The decision was made to put the plane down on a dirt strip outside of Alamosa on a runway not designed for large passenger jet aircraft.

     As the flight crew prepare the cabin and the passengers, I could hear the crying of some and as I looked around, I noticed a look of shear terror on the faces of many. We had quite a bit of time to think about what was coming. I noticed my fingers had already turned white from gripping the armrest. The moon was going in and out of view through my window as we circled down, the plane unable to make a traditional descent. At one point, I remember passing over the mountain tops so close, I could have reached out and grabbed the snow that marked the highest ridges. As we cleared the Rockies, the light created from the moons reflection on the snow-covered caps dissipated and the plane was soon enveloped in darkness.

     My memory of what happened next has remained vivid. I experienced the, often talked about, review of my life. In a, from birth to present time fast-forward, picture, I watched it all in matter of seconds…the good, the bad and the ugly; for the most part, the ugly. This could have easily been my parochial childhood providing evidence that would condemn me to hell. Maybe I had watched too many movies about what happens just before you die. This was not, however, a movie. I was in a crippled airplane headed toward the ground and an uncertain outcome.

     Time began to slow down. Every second stretched to accommodate contemplative thought. The pictures of my life reached present time and now extended into the future. Overwhelming grief and sadness covered me as I watched my wife telling our little girl that her daddy had died in a plane crash. Once again, I noticed my grip on the arm rest. The blood had long since left my white fingers that now felt numb and lifeless. I had already begun to leave.

     I was now watching what was happening from a new perspective. I could see me, the body me, sitting in the seat. The other part of me…this must be the soul…was my thought at the time, was now watching…calmly watching. Part of me had a vision of this vessel, this container hurling through space with me as a helpless passenger. My fate would be determined soon. The flight attendants had completed their work securing the cabin and making sure we all knew the crash position. There was nothing left to do now … but pray.

     I became aware of many things, the first of which were my fingers on the armrest. They were no longer white. My grip had relaxed and my body appeared calm and relaxed in the seat. It was then I noticed that I was not praying for myself. I was praying for my little girl. I did not want her to hurt. I wanted her to know that I was safe. I was safe?

     Despite all that had been going on around me, I felt safe. I felt protected. Later, I would describe how I felt by saying, “I remember feeling as if the hand of God had picked me up and was holding me.” As this feeling of comfort washed over me, I wondered if anyone else was having this same experience. Then, I noticed something else; the crying had stopped. As I looked at the other passengers, the loud cries, the more muffled whimpers and most of all, the look of terror on the faces had all disappeared. The image was so clear; God was holding all of us…we were all safe, in the hands of God. I have often wondered what it would be like to die. Would I be afraid? Would it hurt? Would I be ready?

     With the hydraulic and electrical systems out, the pilot had no idea if the landing gear was extended and the biggest fear was the plane hitting the short dirt runway that had become our target of escape without benefit of the wheels. The plane would break apart into the well-documented fireball of flame and I would die in my seat. In a matter of seconds, I would either die…or, we would survive. With these thoughts of my mortality making their way into my consciousness, I still felt safe. It was not until later that I realized there is no way for us to meet or final challenge without help. I had read about surrender and had often wondered what this word, this concept meant. I had arrived at a place where surrender is not a choice but the next, logical step. You do not decide to surrender; you accept it as a gift. God was holding me. I could feel it and I was grateful.  

     While those few minutes may have been different in many ways for everyone, in those last few seconds before the plane hit the ground, we all shared the very same experience. This is what happens just before you die…you surrender. As you stand on the edge of your lifetime, you let go of all earthly bonds and you surrender to a higher power, and God is there to hold you. You do not have to do it alone. I could see the same look of peace in everyone’s eyes. It was then the plane hit the ground.

     The pilots had dumped the fuel as we circled in the dark, headed for this strip of dirt; our lifeline. Braced for impact, the plane hit the ground, bounced then skidded into a dirt field that eventually swallowed the landing gear that had indeed extended into place. As the plane came to a stop, it tilted over with one wing almost touching the field and the other now pointed towards the sky. As I looked up, a ball of smoke came rolling down the aisle and, for the moment, I thought the fireball would be next. Then…nothing…no fire…we were on the ground.

     My soul had returned from its venture outside my body. Unlike the man in front of me that for some reason decided he needed his briefcase from the overhead bin, I wanted off the plane as quickly as possible. I could get my things later. The compassionate, learned being that had occupied my space only moments ago had already departed? “Excuse me, but I think you should leave your bags and get moving!”

     If I could wake up anywhere, where would it be? The answer was easy; I would wake up where I had been that night in October of 1989…in the hands of God.

September 25, 2009 

     I noted on my blog post previewing the Oprah interview, that I am struggling, at present, to sort out the questions surrounding the disclosures made in the just released Mackenzie Phillips book, High On Arrival. While the news of drug abuse has followed the family for many years, Phillips now tells us she, of her own volition, had sex with her father. Regardless of her age, hearing the words incest and consensual used to describe a father/daughter relationship is something I have yet to reconcile. In the video above, you wil hear her say she is proud that Mackenzie had the courage to talk about a 10-year sexual relationship with their father. Chynna goes on to say it was "upsetting," to find her family secrets made public which draws an odd explanation from her sister who replies, "I'm sorry...it turned out to be much more explosive than I could have ever imagined." 

     It is easy to see that years of chemical dependence and the trauma of her youth have taken a serious toll, mentally, emotionally and physically. Certainly her judgment is skewed but one has to wonder what kind of public response Mackenzie anticipated. She goes on to say that she does not regret writing the book because it will help her and others. I passed up buying the book yesterday as I wanted to reflect on all of this before reading. I've been wondering if a book like this can really be helpful. While half-sister Chyna believes her sister, stepmom Michelle Phillips has called the accusations lies but also offering perhaps the best advice I have heard thus far by saying that instead of appearing on Oprah, Mackenzie would have been better seeking therapy.

     Certainly she knew there would be publicity and how could it not affect her family? Is she doing this for the money? Is she still trying to attract the love she has never experienced? As I began writing, I was ready to forget the book and story as some kind of misguided attempt at sensationalism. I no longer feel this way. What happens financially is of little consequence. I cannot see any amount of money making all of this worthwhile. Yes, Mackenzie would best spend her time in recovery so that she can best help others with what she learns. Everything aside, however, if what she has to say allows one person to avoid drugs or inappropriate sexual behavior, we are fortunate to have the book, the Oprah appearance and as much publicity as possible. Please send over your thoughts.

September 11, 2009 

     Kids may say the darndest things but sometimes the questions adults ask are downright ridiculous. At the same time the White House was fielding questions about Obama's Message for America's Students, NFL quarterback Michael Vick, was at a Philadelphia school talking about peer pressure. I'm all for giving a guy a second chance, although I could definitely understand questioning Vick's motivation. Saying I'm sorry with copious amounts of humble pie has to be easier with a multi-million dollar pay check at risk. And yet, nary a whisper about Vick, while way too many concerned citizens were compelled to question the President's motives and politics without reference to the content. Speaking of content, with the President's staff of professional writers coupled with his own skills as an author and speaker...if you are going to question one of the two, which one would you pick? With the original written answers for Vick's PETA test on empathy made public, I could understand a raised hand or two from concerned parents wondering if Michael Vick was an appropriate choice for the classroom.

     My message, however, is not about Mr. Vick, but about the things we choose to question. One my blog readers astutely recognized more pressing issues on education like the absence of art and music from her child's curriculum. If we are going to ask questions, what about putting some energy into asking about things that will make a difference as opposed to what is becoming repetitious, disrespectful behavior.

     Kids do say the darndest things but they are kids and curious questions are humorous coming from a child. There is nothing funny, however, about our behavior of late. On this day, perhaps more than any other, let us remember to honor the highest office in our country. My concern is not about the response to Barack Obama but rather the level of respect that is due the President of the United States.

September 11, 2009 

     Considering the date, you would think we would have learned a little bit about being good to each other. How about remembering how we behaved in the days following 9/11. Read the whole story at the Huffington Post, If you missed the speech, all eyes in the photo above are turned towards Rep. Joe Wilson, South Carolina, shouting, "You lie," from his seat on the floor. This is about respect or rather, being respectful. The man you are disrespecting is the President of our country. Hey Joe, why not write a letter like the rest of us and set an example for the kids. What a joke.

September 8, 2009 

I am still disappointed about the the widespread refusal to carry air this presentation live in classrooms across the country. In a very curious turn of events in Texas, instead of hearing Obama's address on eduction, students boarded district school busses for a field trip to hear former President Bush pal around with the Dallas Cowboys. Something has gone serously wrong in America when we are not only disrespectful but also downright impolite to the man voted to the highest office in the nation. There are no excuses. History has placed many Presidents in the classroom including the often questioned visit of September 11...it seems to me if there was ever a reason to keep a President away from the classroom, 9/11 would be a more reasonable choice. Out of respect for the office, however, I did not question the Bush decision then and I am outraged about the blatant disregard for a President asking to speak to the nation's children. What's your take on this?

September 6, 2009

August 26, 2009